Who Buys the Honeymoon? Honest Answers and Real-Life Tips

If you think the hardest part of planning a wedding is picking the cake, just wait until the topic of "who’s paying for the honeymoon?" comes up. It’s one of those questions that feels simple—until you realize nobody talks about it much, and everyone seems to have different answers. There’s a mess of old rules, new traditions, and family expectations tied into it.

Today, couples pay for honeymoons in all kinds of ways. Some stick to what their parents did, while others split it, crowdfund, or skip the fuss and do something small together. The important thing is there isn’t a one-size-fits-all rule. You’ve got options, and what works for you might not work for someone else. The awkwardness only sticks around if you don’t talk it through.

If you’re staring at your wedding budget spreadsheet and sweating about airfare to Bali, you aren’t alone. We’ll get into who usually foots the bill, how to talk to your families without feeling weird, and tricks for making your dream honeymoon happen—even if you aren’t rolling in cash. No sugarcoating, no stale etiquette advice, just the stuff you actually need.

• Old-School Traditions: Who Paid Back Then?
• How Couples Do It Now
• Family Contributions – Yay or Nay?
• Splitting the Bill: Tips for Talking Money
• Budgeting Tricks You’ll Actually Use
• Honeymoon Registry: Genius or Tacky?

Old-School Traditions: Who Paid Back Then?

This topic has a surprising history. Back in the day—like, most of the 20th century in North America and Europe—the groom’s family, or the groom himself, usually picked up the tab for the honeymoon. This was tied to old wedding traditions, where the bride’s family covered most of the wedding costs. The thinking was simple: one family pays for the party, the other covers the trip. Etiquette books from the 1950s spelled it out: honeymoon equals groom’s responsibility.

Certain cultures had their own spins, but in the U.S., this was about as mainstream as it got. If you ask your grandparents about who buys the honeymoon, this is probably the answer you’ll hear. By the 70s and 80s, grooms were booking travel agents, sometimes surprising their new spouse with the details as a kind of romantic gesture. It might sound sweet (or risky, depending on the surprises…), but it was all about tradition and clear roles.

The norms started shifting in the late 1990s as more couples paid for weddings together and got married older. But there’s still a chunk of people today who think “honeymoon equals groom’s bill”—even if they aren’t totally sure why.

So, if your parents or grandparents seem confused when you bring up splitting the cost or making a honeymoon registry, it isn’t personal. That’s just what they grew up with. Knowing this makes those family talks a lot smoother, trust me.

How Couples Do It Now

Not all that long ago, honeymoon expenses followed stiff traditions, but that’s changed—big time. Most couples these days don’t wait around for old-school etiquette to decide for them. According to a 2024 WeddingWire survey, about 65% of couples pay for their honeymoons themselves. The rest usually rely on a mix of parental help and a little creative crowdsourcing.

The main thing couples look at right away? Their overall wedding budget. Flights, hotels, and experiences add up fast, and unless you’ve been stashing cash for years, it’s a real balancing act. Sometimes one partner covers the bulk while the other handles little extras, like fancy dinners or excursions. Other times, it’s a clean 50/50 split. There’s no standard, and honestly, that can be a good thing.

• Joint Savings: A lot of couples now open a shared savings account just for honeymoon expenses. Anything from work bonuses to side hustle cash goes in here, making it clear what’s available for the trip.
• Honeymoon Registry: Sites like Honeyfund or Zola let friends and family chip in for everything from airfare to sunset cruises. It’s not as awkward as it sounds—over half of U.S. couples used a honeymoon registry in the past year according to The Knot, and older relatives are getting used to it.
• Keeping It Simple: Tons of people skip the over-the-top, Instagram-perfect trips and go for something chill and budget-friendly, like a cabin nearby or even a staycation. Experiences matter way more than big price tags.

No matter which way you go, the secret to making it work is talking about money openly and early—way before you fall in love with a fancy resort online. This is how the question of who buys the honeymoon usually gets answered now: together, with both voices and wallets counted.

Family Contributions – Yay or Nay?

This part can get weird, fast—one minute you’re happily planning destinations, the next someone’s aunt is suggesting they’ll pay for half the honeymoon if you invite her cousin. So what’s the real story? Traditionally, etiquette books said the groom’s family paid for the honeymoon cost. That’s not how most couples do it now, though.

These days, couples, friends, or both families may pitch in. According to a 2024 WeddingWire survey, about 30% of newlyweds had family help pay for their honeymoon, but only 12% had the whole thing covered. The rest? They either paid themselves or got help through wedding registries.

Here’s a quick look at who pays what:

Don’t assume your parents or in-laws will offer, even if they paid for someone else’s honeymoon in the family. Every situation’s different. If you’re hoping for some help, be upfront. Ask early—before you book flights or hotels. No one likes a surprise bill.

• If a parent offers, get clear on what they’ll cover (flights, hotel, or just a gift card?).
• Some relatives love to help—it’s their way of being part of the celebration. Just make sure you set boundaries, so you don’t end up with strings attached (like needing to text selfies every day).
• If you’re worried about awkward money talks, try putting the honeymoon on your registry. It lets people chip in without feeling pressured.

There’s nothing wrong with saying “no thanks” if you’d rather pay yourselves, either. It’s your trip. You pick what feels right.

Splitting the Bill: Tips for Talking Money

Bringing up money with your partner can feel just as weird as talking to in-laws about wedding invites—it’s awkward, but kind of necessary. When you’re hashing out the who buys the honeymoon question, the main thing is being open and honest before anyone puts down a deposit.

First, know that a NerdWallet survey from 2024 found 62% of couples now split honeymoon costs in some way, whether that’s 50/50 or by divvying up who pays for what (like flights vs. hotels). Times have changed—even my buddy Alex and his wife split up their entire trip right down the middle using a shared app.

Here’s what helps most people dodge drama:

• Have the talk early—Don’t wait until the last minute or assume your partner is on the same page about money.
• Get specific—Instead of vague goals, research actual prices for where you want to go, types of rooms, and activities. Write it all down.
• Be clear about priorities—Is the dream resort worth cutting back on dinners at home for a few months?
• Consider your incomes—If one of you makes a lot more, splitting 50/50 might not feel fair. Some couples split based on percentages of income, or one covers the flight while the other books the hotel.
• Use a shared tracker app—Tools like Splitwise or Honeyfi can take the guesswork out of tracking who paid what.

Sarah Giller Nelson, an expert in relationship money coaching, puts it perfectly:

“Couples who talk about their honeymoon budget early not only travel with less stress, but they’re more likely to enjoy the trip—and each other’s company.”

Sometimes one partner’s parents offer to chip in. Just be direct if it comes up: Will this change plans? Will there be strings attached? Set boundaries early, so nobody’s surprised by a last-minute check.

This snapshot shows how real couples paid for their honeymoons last year:

No matter what route you go, the smoothest honeymoons start with clear, honest chats about money. And trust me, your future self (and bank account) will thank you for it.

Budgeting Tricks You’ll Actually Use

Let’s talk money—because the sticker shock from honeymoon planning is very real. Flights alone can chew through a few paychecks, and don’t even get me started on hotels in Santorini or Hawaii. But saving for a solid trip doesn’t have to wreck your wedding plans, or max out your credit card.

First up: get real about what you can spend. A recent WeddingWire survey shows that the average couple dropped $5,100 on their honeymoon in 2024. Some spend more, many spend less, but that number helps you know what you’re up against. If that feels high, don’t worry—there are ways to make any budget work.

Here’s what actually works when you’re trying to make the most of your money:

• Who buys the honeymoon? It matters, but what really counts is talking honestly about your budget together before booking anything. If parents want to contribute, treat it like a bonus, not a guarantee.
• Start a dedicated honeymoon fund. Open a separate savings account or use budgeting apps like Mint or YNAB. Even throwing $50 a week into a jar adds up quick over a year.
• Shop for flights early and set price alerts with sites like Google Flights or Hopper. Flying mid-week or off-peak can save you a bundle. According to Expedia, booking 6-7 months out can save up to 15% on international flights.
• Consider all-inclusive resorts. You might pay more upfront, but with meals, drinks, and activities included, it can actually keep your spending predictable.
• Check for travel deals aimed at newlyweds. Hotels and airlines sometimes offer honeymoon packages with extras like a room upgrade, spa credits, or free breakfasts. Don’t be shy about asking—it really works.
• Be real about what you both want. If seven nights in Bali is out of reach, a few days at a cool Airbnb a couple of hours from home can be just as special. What matters is the time together, not the bragging rights.

Nothing kills the post-wedding buzz like coming home to credit card debt. Pick a plan you’re both comfortable with and run with it. Honestly, some of our favorite memories come from the road trips we could actually afford, not the fancy places we saw online.

Honeymoon Registry: Genius or Tacky?

This is one of those wedding debates where nobody seems to agree. Honeymoon registries let wedding guests chip in on travel expenses, activities, or even just a dreamy dinner on the beach. You’re basically making it easy for people to help pay for your honeymoon, instead of handing you another toaster or more towels for the closet.

Sites like Zola, Honeyfund, and The Knot made this super simple. You can add options for flights, hotel upgrades, massages, or even just a chunk of your airfare. According to a 2024 report from The Knot, about 40% of couples set up some type of honeymoon or experience registry. That number jumps for couples having smaller or destination weddings, since people traveling already don’t love bringing bulky gifts on airplanes.

But is it tacky? Depends who you ask. Some folks (usually from an older generation) think asking for money directly is rude. But honestly, more people see it as practical, especially if your guests know you already have a blender and don’t need another one. It’s all about how you frame it: skip demanding language, make your wishlist fun and specific, and let people participate if they want.

If you’re thinking about starting a honeymoon registry, here are a few tips to make it work (without awkwardness):

• Pick a registry platform that looks legit and is easy for guests to use.
• Add a personal note or story about why you chose certain activities or destinations—people like details.
• Give a mix of affordable and splurge options, so nobody feels pressured to spend big.
• Send thank-yous quickly and share photos or stories after the trip—it’s a nice touch and makes guests feel included.

Bottom line: honeymoon registries are way more normal now. As long as you keep it light and never guilt-trip anyone, most guests are happy to help you make some memories instead of just adding to your household stuff.